I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
