My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
