Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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