i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
There was a lot of him and a little penis
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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