The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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