All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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