before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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