If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
