She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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