There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
