she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
We got so high we made milksteak
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
