: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
