i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
