Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
