this boner is exhausting
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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