Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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