He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
