I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
