Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Who died my cat blue again?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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