Only a mothe r could love this liver
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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