He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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