so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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