How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
