Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
