Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
This toilet bowl is my home.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
