if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
