In America we eat man semen.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
