he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
