actually, I'm a sock model
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
