Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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