I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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