Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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