i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
