What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
