Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
