p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
