My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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