Moan for me like Helen Keller
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
