I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
