Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
