Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
