We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
