Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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