12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
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