do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
