The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
