Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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