Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
