no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
