the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
