Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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