P.S. I can't hear my feet
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
